Apparently you make a good broom.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
