In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
