The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I deserve this hangover.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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