i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
