you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Randomize
