I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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