you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Randomize
