so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
