Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
