Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
