i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
