But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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