and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
