God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Randomize
