just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
