This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
We are all done wearing pants today
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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