You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
