I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
