so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
