Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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