It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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