I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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