i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
