I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Shame - the story of my life.
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