He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
