Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
