Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
