I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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