I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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