Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
