I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I am one with the molecules
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
