3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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