what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
