God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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