Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Do you remember whose house we're in?
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
