so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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