you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
