Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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