vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
