Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
