apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
