apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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