I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
