Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
