some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
