so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
