Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
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