are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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