Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
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