What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
