1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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