Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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