i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
