Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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