I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
