Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize
