You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
