the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
